KEROUAC


Mexican Loneliness

And I am an unhappy stranger

grooking in the streets of Mexico-

My friends have died on me, my

lovers disappeared, my whores banned,

my bed rocked and heaved by

earthquake - and no holy weed

to get high by candlelight

and dream - only fumes of buses,

dust storms, and maids peeking at me

thru a hole in the door

secretly drilled to watch

masturbators fuck pillows -

I am the Gargoyle

of Our Lady

dreaming in space

gray mist dreams --

My face is pointed towards Napoleon

------ I have no form ------

My address book is full of RIP's

I have no value in the void,

at home without honor, -

My only friend is an old fag

without a typewriter

Who, if he's my friend,

I'll be buggered.

I have some mayonnaise left,

a whole unwanted bottle of oil,

peasants washing my sky light,

a nut clearing his throat

in the bathroom next to mine

a hundred times a day

sharing my common ceiling -

If I get drunk I get thirsty

- if I walk my foot breaks down

- if I smile my mask's a farce

- if I cry I'm just a child -

- if I remember I'm a liar

- if I write the writing's done -

- if I die the dying's over -

- if I live the dying's just begun -

- if I wait the waiting's longer

- if I go the going's gone

if I sleep the bliss is heavy

the bliss is heavy on my lids

- if I go to cheap movies

the bedbugs get me -

Expensive movies I can't afford

- if I do nothing

nothing does