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SIROWITZ, Hal


New Sheets


I won't be around forever, Mother said.

One day I'm going to die, so I might

as well nag you a little bit more,

while I have the chance. And when

I'm dead you'll have to rely on someone else

to tell you that it's time to change the sheets,

& I hope for your sake, that it won't

be your wife, because she's going to get

tired of doing it, & she'll start to demand that you

& her sleep on separate beds, which will mean

that pretty soon you'll have to be using separate silverware,

so she won't always have to be the one to wash them.

And before you know it, she'll want you

to live in your own house so you

won't be able to mess up hers, & divorce is more likely

to happen when you aren't living together.